Chapter 5... It All Comes Crashing Down

I really didn't want to talk to G, especially not at 6:30am when I was trying to get to work. I also wanted to have a record of whatever he was going to say. I emailed him when I got to work, and simply asked, what's up?

His reply was a long message saying he'd rather talk to me -- email is so impersonal -- but he takes full responsibility for everything that happened to me and wanted to "apologize for letting this go on for so long." He's "embarrassed and ashamed" and asked me to "find it in your heart to have the forgiveness and kindness to end the investigation." He's "very sorry."

Wow. Ok. It sounds like he's admitting he did it (not that shocking based on everything pointing in that direction, but sad and shocking nonetheless), but he didn't actually say he posted the ad.

I emailed him and asked him directly: are you saying you posted the ad, as C, on craigslist, that included my name and phone number, in the sex section? WHY?

When he didn't reply right away, I contacted C. Asked him what they had talked about after I left. He was brief with his recount, and I had to ask direct questions to get information from him. Frustrating. I told him of G's sort of admission, and he had a much more confusing reaction than I expected. He was pretty calm. Not livid, the way he had been for much of this time. He seemed to be disinterested in talking about it any more, and suddenly I had the feeling I was now dealing with this all alone.

I eventually heard back from G, and his reply was that he "whole-heartedly admits to doing it." He blamed it on being pissed at C for several things. Again, a really long message. I wanted to know if he did it alone. I wanted to know if anyone else knew about this. I need the truth, I told him in my last message.

And then my phone rang again. By now it's around 7pm, and after such a long, draining day, I didn't want to talk to him. But I knew I'd have to. When I answered the phone, I said, I really don't think I can talk to you.

So I listened. I listened to G tell me how sorry he is. I heard him say he just didn't have the stomach for this and couldn't take it anymore. I heard him try to reason out why he did it. I listened as he told me he wanted to call me last night but it got too late. I asked him about the "break-in" at his house. He didn't budge on that being legit, but he basically brushed that aside. I listened as he claimed this was a stupid thing to have done, and he's sorry. And then I listened as he told me he spoke with C earlier and apologized.

You spoke with C today?

Yeah, I called him earlier and apologized.

Wow. Now I was floored. C had plenty of opportunities to tell me he had spoken with G. Never mentioned it, not even a hint. What the hell?

I hung up with G. I texted C. You spoke with G today?

C responded that he had, but just briefly when G apologized. I was confused. I was mad. Why hadn't he told me? I was worried about how C was feeling about all this. I told C I hoped he was ok, and that I understand it's tough news to hear that your friend of 10+ years would do something like this to you. I also said I was confused as to why he didn't mention he talked with G.

C said there was nothing relevant to discuss about it. He wanted to see if both stories were the same. I was hurt and confused. Nothing relevant? Stories the same? I've been sharing everything with you! I hoped he meant G's stories to the both of us. I've been upfront and honest the whole way! We went back and forth for a bit and I ended the conversation. Nothing more to say. Not getting the support anymore.

The next morning C apologized for that, but our conversation later in the day about that and about the G admission and whether to go forward with the charges became strained. It was obvious, and very confusing and hurtful, that C was not with me anymore on this. He was done.

And as it turns out, that's pretty much the last conversation I've had with C.

Unbelievable.

I called the detective and told him about G's admission, and planned to meet with him on Monday to talk about where to go from here.

I had an answer as to who posted the ad, but I didn't feel much better. My friendships were ruined. My core group of friends no longer existed. I was left wondering how people would react when they found out it was G -- would they be shocked, but a few weeks from now meeting him out for beers? I was left hurting, feeling an overwhelming sense of loss and betrayal. I had an answer, but I didn't feel much better.

And I still had a decision to make.