I was alone for 8 miles this morning. It was great. It was weird.
I normally see a bunch of other people out there on a Sunday morning. It was rainy, so maybe that's why I was the only one out there? Whatever -- I didn't mind it today.
I've been thinking a lot about pulling away recently. From people, from talking, from interactions.
Nothing good is happening with my interpersonal relationships lately. People not being straightforward, people putting words in my mouth. It's frustrating, and I'm just feeling like if I just pull away and not talk to or interact with anyone for a bit it might make things easier. Go to work, visit with my sister and nephews (family isn't the problem), do my workouts, keep to myself.
I don't necessarily like to be alone, but I'm just tired of dealing with other people's issues.
On my windy, rainy, warm (shorts!) run this morning, I was alone. I ran around the river, and I was quietly taking it all in -- this year, the empty path, where to go from here. This time a year ago I was super happy. I was enjoying living. Today, I miss that.
So I think I need to just be alone for a bit. See where friendships fall. See where life goes. Let 2010 fade away.
I need to get ready. Because I have to believe 2011 is going to be my year.
5 comments:
(((lora)))
People who aren't true friends aren't worth it. We've watched what we thought was a friendship (12 years!) blow up and turn really ugly in the past month. Both of us are hurt and even a bit angry, but we also know that we are WAY better off in the end not having deceptive (and apparently mean) people in our lives. It doesn't mean what happened doesn't hurt, though.
Get a puppy!!!!! No better friend out there :)
I get this, it really stinks but I get taking a step back and figuring out what and who is really important and what and who just don't work in your life. Toxicity and negativity don't need to be a part of anything. I hope things become clearer for you and, taking a note from Jen, you get to spend lots of time with adorable little Roxie! :-)
I actually really enjoy running alone - it is a nice time to reflect and just be quiet. I don't pretend to have any advice for you, but I do feel optimistic that 2011 has to be better for you.
I love running alone. Maybe you are pulling away from people because it is winter...I always get a little sad during the winter. Hope everything is going okay:)
2011 WILL be your year for sure!!!
Feel better soon!
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