Thursday, January 28, 2010
I don't have a lot to say right now. The services are Saturday, and these next few days will involve LOTS of family time.
Thankfully, my running has provided some quiet, peaceful periods of time.
Love you, Meem.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
I'm walking through my days waiting for something to lift this feeling of grrrrr.
I'm frustrated, I'm conflicted, I'm feeling unsettled.
It's not a good feeling. It's not a comfortable way to go through my days.
I don't feel good in my own skin right now.
I may feel differently tomorrow, but today, this is how I feel. Enough to write about it, which I don't often do.
From the outside, people would say I have nothing to complain about.
I know that. I know in the grand scheme of things I don't.
But in my personal world, I need to feel some good.
I need to feel happier. More comfortable. Lighter. Peaceful. Good.
I don't right now, and I don't like it.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
My kids at school are wearing on me. The students of today are NOT as smart as the kids I taught 10 years ago. Not only are they lacking in basic skills, they are lacking in common sense, and they are lazy. That's right. Even they admit to the lazy part. I know it doesn't sound good for the teacher to feel this way, but it's true. It's frustrating. It's wearing on me.
I got an email at work today about a special schedule coming up for a district writing test. This schedule has many of us working while a whole other group of teachers has an hour off. Free. No commitments. Yeah, that's fair. Frustrating.
A certain someone. At times, I'm feeling like there's still a definite interest. Things said, actions done, lead me to think that. Then, in the next minute, not so much. I don't want to walk away, and I don't want to push the issue, but I also don't like the hot/cold of it all. Frustrating.
My motivation with house projects. I've started some things, and I have ideas for others. But my lack of an interior decorator eye and my distaste for shopping stalls these projects. I've enlisted my sister's help, but I need to get some things done. I just wish someone like Thom Filicia would come do it all while I was at work one day. (See, I really thought running right, smack into him during the Great Urban Race would've made us BFF. My email apology to him about sweating all over him and running away went unanswered, though.) Anyway, the point is, I have house stuff that needs/I want to get done. But I'm not doing it. Frustrating.
My working out. Yes, I'm following D's schedule. Yes, my running's going just fine. But I don't feel like it's enough. I miss the two-a-day workouts of the summer. I could fit in a swim or a bike ride after my runs some days during the week. I could. But, I know D wouldn't really like that, and I have way less time in my day during the school year than I do in the summer. I should be spending more dedicated time to stretching and core work. I do that stuff (most mornings when I wake up), but not as diligently as I should. I'm not sure why my motivation is lower about that, but it is. Frustrating.
If I think about it, I can come up with several more frustrations. But the ones above are the biggies. These are the ones -- school stuff, guy stuff, house stuff, and workout stuff -- that I think about most. I'm not feeling stressed about them, but I am feeling frustrated.
Like I want to bang my head against the wall.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
All good stuff, and nothing too special.
My week's been busy, and I've meant to write a few times, but haven't had the chance. This is a boring post, but I'm just plugging along right now...
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
I was excited about this run -- I love these tempo style runs -- but I was nervous, too. Other then the 4x400's I ran Saturday, I've been running all slow, easy miles. I wasn't sure I'd be able to hold this pace today, and decided if I needed to, I'd back it down to 8:40 pace.
Surprise, surprise, the paces were easy to hold. I was a little fast, even. I really tried to keep it right around the 8:35 pace once I knew I could run that, but I ended up with 8:36, 8:29, 8:30, 8:27. Sweet! Take that, Wind!
Sunday, January 10, 2010
This doesn't do the coloring justice. It was much deeper two days ago!
I was on the sidewalk, on my run on Wednesday, and a car was pulling out of the Wendy's. They were on the sidewalk part of the driveway entrance/exit, and so I stopped. Another car, which was trying to pull into the lot, stopped, waved me by, and I looked into the car in my way and met eyes with the passenger. Neither of the cars moved, so I went in front of the car exiting. I put my hand on its hood, and slid it across as I ran past. When I was right in front, the driver decided that was the best time to exit the lot. Apparently, a runner in front of her car wasn't a deterrent...
As she hit the gas, her grill/front bumper area hit into me and popped me out into the road. I kept running, because it wasn't like she was going fast enough to really hurt me, but I turned to give her a look. As I did, someone in her car was yelling. I just kept going.
I kind of laughed it off with my friends when I arrived at the running store after I finished my 8 miles, and then sort of forgot about it for the next couple days. Friday, I noticed a bit of discomfort in my left leg around the outside of my knee. That's when I noticed the deep purple/yellow bruise. Huh. Where'd that come from? I thought. I couldn't remember banging it at school or anything. Weird.
Then today, two days after noticing the bruise and 4 days after the bump from the car, I realized that's where the bruise came from. Duh.
Monday, January 4, 2010
So I look at what he's got for me, and this week it's all easy stuff, with some 400's thrown in on Saturday. Looking at the weeks ahead, it's 4 easy runs and 2 runs with speed stuff in them each week. One day off. I can do this. I did this for the fall races.
Then I look at the top of the page, where he listed the paces.
Easy = 10 mpm
400's = 1:50
marathon pace = 8:35
Um, what?! I'm going to skip commenting on the marathon pace. I'll reserve judgement on that for now. But looking at that easy pace, I think I actually let out a "Wha???!!!" right there in front of him. 10 mpm seems so slow to me right now. I know it makes sense, and I know D knows his stuff. And I followed his plan and did really well in the fall, so I'll follow it again. But I've been running an easy pace of about about 9:30 - 9:40's and 10 mpm seems sooooo slow.
But that's what he said, so that's what I'm doing. That's what I ran today. 5 miles in just under 50 minutes. I ended up with a 9:52 pace. I feel like D would say that's ok. I hope he would. It was tough to slow down more than that. My legs felt a little heavy, even. But, I did it.
And I'm looking forward to the rest of the workouts, too. Even the one at the end of the month that D warned me would be hard. He even offered to have "one of us" (meaning him, or one of the store guys, etc) run with me for it. It's 2 mile repeats. Fast.
I'm looking forward to the challenge.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
No further details necessary. Just didn't want it to be a topic here anymore. :(
On a different and better note, in a bit of a surprise to me, "coach" has me starting my training plan tomorrow. 17 week plan.
And that means my LR for this week is a whopping 8 miler.
I haven't seen the whole plan yet, but the timing to refocus couldn't be better. The fun is coming to an end. I really enjoyed it, so I'll need to figure out how to balance things better, but based on how I feel right now, refocusing on the running is what I need.