To be or not to be...

...nervous, that is...

My running has been improving. My running fitness is shot -- mainly because of the time off, partly because of a sinus thing I've been dealing with --but my running is improving. I'm slowing increasing my mileage, and I'm not running more than 3 days in a row at a time. I'm not sure if I'm being too conservative with my mileage, I'm fairly certain I'm not being too aggressive, but I think I'm somewhere in the middle.

And yet, at any given moment, one or more of the following thoughts are going through my mind:
my leg's going to tighten up again
nope, you went through all that pain of the Graston to fix it
but it's still weak
but the running and the exercises will strengthen it
but what if it doesn't ever get back to it's true strength
but why wouldn't it
I don't want to push it because I don't want it to tighten up again
it won't
it might
i really hope it doesn't
maybe I need to push beyond what I think is safe
maybe I'm doing it right
what if it tightens up again
maybe it won't
I hope it won't

and so it goes. All the time.

I think I'm doing ok, but I haven't ever dealt with an injury like this. I almost wish I could get another MRI that could show me that the muscles are healed, so that I have a stronger sense that it's going to be ok.

But in the absence of that, I have to just believe that because I've done everything all the doctors have told me, it will be fine. My leg will continue to get stronger, my fitness will improve, and I won't have to be nervous.