Illinois was awful.
Started well, heat got to me, practically crawled to the finish.
F*ck.
I feel like I've disappointed D. I know I'm disappointed. And frustrated. And feeling like I just can't get out from under this F-ing black cloud in my life. Another hit.
F*ck.
All that training.
WTF can't I get a good marathon experience?!
This is why I love the training, hate the race. I really wanted that to change this time. REALLY wanted that, and expected that to change.
F*ck.
3 comments:
"All that training."
You LOVE the training. Your training has thrived despite your shitty couple of months with life stuff. You are in the best shape ever. You are confident about your running ability. You don't NEED a race result to confirm that you are a kick ass runner.
Sorry it was such a horrible experience for you. But it was still good to actually meet you in person!
Your blog post actually made me laugh. Not in a "I'm laughing at you" way, but because sometimes life is just like that and it seems like someone is out to get you!
Before I got into triathlon I did about 20 marathons and I spent the better part of 6 years chasing that "perfect" race of breaking 3 hours. In the end I realized all along the journey had been a ton of fun, even though I still haven't broken 3 :)
Hang in there - maybe you can recovery and hop into another marathon in a few months - you've definitely got the base training!
Well, F*ck.
Looks like you are going to have to enjoy another training cycle and go for it again in the fall.
Just think how lucky you are that you GET to run...
You don't HAVE to race...
But you will, and you will achieve your goals. Keep at it.
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