Picking up the pieces

I feel like this was a week/weekend of dealing with all the broken pieces in my life. It hasn't been easy. Or fun. I'd like to say I'm feeling better, and maybe I am, relatively speaking. But picking up the pieces isn't smooth, and it isn't happening quickly. And I'm still feeling really weighted.

I had to take time off from running, 'cause that's what my coach tells me to do after a marathon. I've sort of done that. I ran a couple times since Wednesday -- all easy miles -- because with all the other stress in my life, I need to run. I'm being smart, though, and not pushing it. I even swam today for the first time since January. It was a good, smooth swim.

I'm trying to accept that my circle of social friends -- the small group who I was going out with all the time, spending lots of time with -- is broken, and even has added complications I have to deal with. This is tough. I tried to get some of the guys out for a beer Friday -- didn't work. I guess they wanted a guys night, and I wasn't included. Sucks. The big group will hang out from time to time, but the small core of regulars isn't there anymore, and that's what I miss.

Things at work are bad -- the state of public education in NJ is troubled right now, and my district is going to be making major cuts. We don't even know right now who has a job in September, what our pay will be, what programs will be cut. It's unsettling.

There are pieces that will be tough to mend. Pieces that will probably always be cracked. All I can do is keep putting one foot in front of the other. Maybe one of these days I'll step up to the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.