It's dark early. Grr. My day, which is primarily spent in a windowless classroom, feels shorter because of the lack of daylight I get to experience.
I'm not sleeping as much as I should. Grr. I'm yawning and tired during the day, but yet I can't seem to feel tired enough to fall asleep at a decent hour.
I've gained about 2 or 3 pounds in the past two weeks. Grr. I was, without even trying, holding to just under 120 pounds through all of October. Now I'm consistently around 121-122. I know it doesn't sound like much, but at 118-119, I felt good about my weight. Now I'm worried about moving back towards where I was. If I'm not careful, I'll inch up to 125 again, then who knows -- I might even hit 128 again. I know it won't really happen if I keep running, but I used to weigh a lot more than I do, and I don't want to be that uncomfortable in my own body again. I know it won't happen if I keep running, but...
I'm not as hard-core about my running these days. Grr. I know it's just my body telling me that after a long season of triathlons and road races, including an 18 mile race and a marathon, I need a break, but it scares me a little. I can't afford to NOT run a lot. I'll fall out of the habit, I'll gain weight, I'll feel like a blob. I can't afford NOT to run, because running keeps me out of trouble. It keeps me from drinking a lot with my friends. It keeps me from being lazy. It keeps my brain occupied and focused. It gives me purpose.
Things aren't right right now. I know how strange this whole entry sounds because of my really good run on Monday, but that run feels like the exception these days. I know this is probably just temporary. I know much of it is probably related to the lack of sunshine and daylight. I am powered by the sun. I know I am still running, and I know I will keep running. But things aren't right, and it's uncomfortable.
4 comments:
I think everyone goes through a slump after a big race. Especially this time of year when it gets dark early etc. I know I did after Kona. Sarah and I are hosting a don't gain weight over the holidays challenge if you want to join. Details are on my blog and we start on Monday.
I get SAD so I totally understand how you're feeling. I'm training for a half marathon to get me through the PNW winter blues. In all reality I have no interest in running a half, but I know it will be good base and it gives me something to focus on - past the darkness, rain and cold.
I also get hit with S.A.D. and have already gained a couple unwanted lbs. from my lack of movement :( Ugh.
I think it's a combo approach that's needed - allowing yourself off the hook for specific training but still following some sort of "plan" so that you're not just flailing and feeling directionless.
For myself I put together a s/s that includes stuff I can do at home, pool workouts and misc days that can be filled with running or other crosstraining like spin classes, yoga, etc.
know exactly how you feel...it took me almost a month after Chicago to feel normal, and I'm just now to the point of wanting to run again.
be patient, it'll happen.
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