It's not the 4 weeks that sucks so much...

...it's the fact that I've lost my fall racing. That's what I have to keep telling people when they say, "It's only 4 weeks, then you'll be even stronger!"

I know, I know. All of this is so that I can run for the rest of my life -- because ultimately that's what's important to me.

But it really sucks to know that my better racing happens in the fall, and this fall is now worthless to me. I don't get to enjoy the cooling temps. I don't get to see a strong training round through to a marathon that won't be in 85* temps. I'm missing good races. Everyone else is progressing around me.

I spent 60 boring minutes on the elliptical today. At least I got a pretty good sweat working. Then I jumped in the pool for 1000 yards. Not much, but it's something.

I've been finding myself staring at runners when I pass them on the road. I slow down my bike or my car and watch. I note how their form looks. I silently applaud them. I'm jealous of them -- even those, maybe especially those, who seem to be struggling. I want to be them. All of them.

I also marvel at those who seem to continually improve and excel each and every time they get out there. I wish my body was stronger, like theirs. I spent much of today watching/following Charisa kick ass at Ironman Wisconsin, and got emotional as I watched her finish with a big smile on her face. 5th overall female. Amazing.

I want to race. I want to be happy about my racing. I tasted a bit of that last fall, and I'm bummed I'm missing the chance this fall. But most of all, I just want to run. So I'll deal with the next (hopefully only) 4 weeks, and I'll do what I need to do to get my leg stronger so I can run for the rest of my life.