Monday, August 31, 2009

I can't have it all.

And as a Libra, I don't make decisions well. My mind has been swirling and working overtime and it came to a boiling point today. I have to make a decision about what to do on September 20th.

Run the Philadelphia Distance Run (half marathon), which I'm registered for, or

Do the re-instituted LBI sprint tri, which I'm also registered for (didn't have to pay for this one, though.)
Both are exactly 3 weeks from the LBI 18 Mile Run, my goal race for this fall.

I got on my bike this afternoon and set out for a ride. Almost immediately, I wished I were running. I had a fantastic long run yesterday (15 miles with half at MP -- actually faster than MP) and a good, easy 6 miler this morning. But here I was, looking down at my sweet new Zoot tri shoes pedaling my bike
on this gorgeous, cool-for-August, clear afternoon, wishing I could go for a run. I felt almost sad that I couldn't run tomorrow, on my scheduled (and needed) day off from running.

I also recognized that while I love riding my bike, and I've gotten way better with my swimming, my goal -- my much needed goal -- is focused purely on my running races right now.

At the end of last spring I knew I needed to improve my running - primarily the longer distances. I was killing myself mentally going into each race -- convinced I couldn't hold the pace I'd wanted to run, or just freaked out in general. As I helped him with things in his life, I recruited D to help me with my running. He'd done it before, but I wasn't ready for his training at that time. I questioned things. This time, I promised to follow his plan.

And I have. I feel like my running is improving. I've also lost a bunch of weight, which makes running easier. I feel like things may just be coming together -- and I need to see this through.

But I really wanted to do this tri -- for a couple reasons. First, because my swim was cancelled in my July tri, and second, because it's on LBI, my hometown. There's also a good chance I'd place in my age group -- simply because there aren't that many people registered yet!

But the PDR is a good race -- I've done it twice before, but not in the past two years because of the LBI tri (which was supposed to be cancelled this year). Doing this race is more in line, I feel, with what D thinks is best for me. I think it might be a good opportunity to work on my pre-race nerves and routine. If I run well here, I can carry that into the 18 miler 3 weeks later; if I don't, I've gotten the rough race out of the way and can tweak some things.

And so, as of now, I think I've made a decision. I feel like I owe it to myself to see this running stuff through. I'm hoping to see good results with my racing this fall; I'm hoping to feel better about my racing.

I can't have it all, so I've gotta remember and stay focused on what I really want. For now.

1 comment:

Dan said...

well there you go then. my mind is made up...you're doing the tri.

good choice.
(i prefer reading your tri stories anyway)
go get 'em!