Chapter Three... Something's Fishy

Through all of this, I still had to somehow get myself to work (which now included starting the softball season that I coach, making my work days even longer), AND continue my training for my marathon. I was drowning.

Monday the 29th, G called me late in the evening and told me his house had been broken into that day.

WHAT?!

You ok? What was stolen? He was ok -- he had already talked with the police. They only took his old computer (the one he uses for social stuff on the internet, etc) and an old digital camera. They didn't take your bikes? (He's training for IMLP) They didn't take anything else? Nope.

In my head, this seemed weird to me. I mean, think of all your friends. Have you ever had two friends have crimes commited against them in a matter of two weeks? I haven't. Seemed weird, but I had no idea at the time just HOW weird...

Two days later, on Wednesday, the detective on my case called me and told me the IP address that the craigslist ad was posted from belongs to my friend, G.

Holy Shit.

I learned that this doesn't necessarily prove that G did it, although it would take someone with a strong technical knowledge to have hacked into G's address and posted the ad. The detective explained about open internet connections, router logs, and lots more. He and I decided that he would speak with G, rather than me doing it. I told him at this point I don't know what I can believe from G.

G's response to the detective was "There's no way it could be me," which struck the detective as odd. I could tell the detective was pretty convinced it was G that posted the ad, and as much as all the arrows pointed that way (G was wanting to spend lots and lots of time with me, it was his IP address, he often talked negatively about C to me, the "stolen" computer, etc), I wasn't ready to accept it yet. I needed proof, or someone to admit to doing it.

G called me after talking with the police, but I didn't want to speak with him. He denied, denied, denied having anything to do with this. I told him I couldn't talk with him right now. I don't know what to think, what to say, who to believe.

I had been filling C in on everything each step of the way, and called him immediately to talk with him about this latest development. I was comforted in knowing he wanted to be in the loop and wanted me to keep pursuing this. Until we found out it was G's address, that is. Then C seemed to pull back a bit. He and G had been friends for more than 10 years. I know this was a blow to C. I was upset he was pulling away, but I couldn’t do anything about it.

C and I agreed it would be better to not tell anyone that G was connected to this just yet. Since we didn't have all the answers, we didn't want to bring his name into it. Keeping this secret from our friends added to my stress. I was able to let some outside friends know what was happening, but since they didn't know C, and really wouldn't have known to connect him to me in the craigslist ad, I was able to feel reasonably certain that they weren't involved. However, I was constantly in a state of wondering who I could trust, and what to believe. With everyone.

I was leaving Friday for the Florida Keys to stay with my family for the week, but there was something I had to take care of first. G had planned with my dad to stay at my parents' house in the Keys for a few days while I was there. (G is a doctor, and was helping my dad with his knee issues.) I wrote G an email (I was keeping all interactions with him written, thinking that would be important) and told him that under the circumstances, I would appreciate it if he would make other arrangements. Having him stay at my parents' house would be uncomfortable. He eventually responded that he would not be flying down. He again denied having anything to do with this, he was freaked out and upset by all this, hopefully we can talk. I didn't respond, and didn't have any contact with him the whole time I was away.

While in Florida, I touched base with the detective, and was reassured he’d be speaking with G again and moving forward in the investigation. I tried to enjoy my time on vacation, but knowing that things at home weren't yet resolved made feeling good in Florida difficult. I met up with a mutual friend down there, and found out that G made up a story about why he couldn't come down. I also spoke with C and found out that G was going about his life like nothing was going on -- they were all going out for beers like usual, etc. This really started to eat away at me. It bothered me that C was part of that, though he said he was hoping to get G to say something about it all. It bothered me that G never told anyone about his break-in. It bothered me that G was now lying to other people about this. I was feeling more and more weighing me down.

G, someone who was my friend -- and in my world every day -- may be the person who caused all this turmoil, destruction, deceit in my world, and he gets to live life like normal. I can't, but he can. Unfair.

Chapter Two... Going to the Police

These phone calls were creepy. Unsettling. The men talked about meeting me. They talked about my voice. They talked about wanting phone sex and other things. It made me uncomfortable, to say the least. Since the calls were continuing Monday morning, I had no choice but to get my phone number changed. I did that Monday afternoon, and Tuesday I called the police. I gave them the information and then had to wait several days before a detective was assigned to the case. That was frustrating. My head was swirling, and I didn’t know what to think. In the meantime, I told all my friends what was happening. The guys and friends at the running store, people at work, my family. Told all of them that I went to the police.


C supported my decision to go to the police, as did all my friends. My friend G and I went for a run and talked about what was happening. G is also someone I've mentioned here before. We speculated on who could have done this. It HAD to be someone who knows us. MY name, MY cell number, C's name all included in the ad.


Over the next week or so, things fell apart with C and I. (My stress on this stuff contributed, but it was C's decision that things change between us. I wasn't happy about it. It added to my stress, though it never made me question whether he had anything to do with the ad. I never believed he did.) During that week, I questioned who I could trust, who I could believe, what to think. There was just too much here for this to be a random person posting the ad. Too much coincidence. I knew it had to have been someone I knew.


G and I continued to go on runs together, and I continued to meet the guys out for beers, though things were definitely not the same. The situation was always part of our conversation. And I was always watching people's actions, listening to their words, seeing their reactions. I went through more than 2 weeks feeling like my social world was crumbling around me. (Truth is, that is something I’m still dealing with, even now.)


It is a defeating feeling to have your trust of your friends compromised and, essentially, stripped from you.

Deception and Destruction

What follows is just the first chapter in this whole ordeal. It's too long and involved for one post, and quite frankly, as late as last night the hits keep coming...


On Sunday, March 14th, at about 6:45 pm, I received a "restricted" phone call on my cell phone. I answered it because I thought it was my brother. It was not, though it took me a moment to realize it.


It was a man telling me he met my friend C in a bar and C gave me his number. This guy said he was "a single man, looking to meet a woman, and C said, here -- call my girlfriend. She'll talk with you." I kept asking, Who is this? and Who gave you my number? and What?! The call wasn't making any sense to me, and I hung up.


Then the texts started. Some restricted numbers, some not.


I called C, someone I was very close with. I've mentioned him here before -- he's someone who has brought me great happiness over the past few months, but also some frustrations and hurting heart feelings. We had just decided to move forward with things again when this happened. So, I called him and asked, Did you give my number to some guy in a bar???

He was shocked. No way! I didn't give anyone your number! Why would I do that? What are you talking about?


I told him my phone was now being flooded with phone calls and texts from men looking to meet me or talk to me. All of them are telling me they "met C, drunk off his ass, in a bar" and he gave them my number.


C came right over. We tried to reverse-look up the numbers we could (most calls were restricted). The calls and texts kept coming. C finally answered, and that man hung up.


We were floored. What the heck is going on??? What is this??? C eventually headed home, swearing he had nothing to do with this; both of us perplexed and shaken and confused. And angry.

Monday the calls continued. C called/texted the ones we could identify and told them to stop. He eventually learned through one of them that they were just responding to an ad on craigslist.


WHAT?

I emailed craigslist immediately. After the automated response, I went ahead and emailed the CEO and owner directly and asked for their help. I requested a copy of the ad and any posting information they had. They were great. I had my information in about an hour.

But not all of it.

I had no idea what this one ad would mean in the long run.

I'm writing a saga.

I'm in the middle of writing out the story of what I've been dealing with over the past 6 weeks or so.

Friendships destroyed, trust broken, criminal behavior, police investigation, enormous stress.

It's taking me a long time. It's a long, drama-filled, sad, shocking story.

It'll easily be the longest post I've written.

But it's a story I'm ready to tell. I need to tell it. I can't hold the secrets anymore. I need to release the weight, and I'm getting there.

I won't be able to get all of it in here -- there's just too much -- but the story will be complete enough for the important information to be told, and the picture painted.

It's not a Hollywood ending, but then again, who knows, really, if the ending is even here yet...

I felt prepared.

Last Sunday was my last 20+ miler before the race. Fresh off the plane from the Keys, I wasn't sure how my legs would fare. Turns out, I didn't need to worry.

I headed over to Philly to run the same route I had done for my last 21 miler. This time, though, I was doing it alone. I wanted it that way.

I parked and headed out. Plan was 10 easy first, and though they were a bit faster than I should have run them, I was comfortable and things felt good.

By the time I headed onto the trail, I had about 5ish miles left at easy pace before I was to crank it down to MP for the next 10 miles. I took a gel at about 7 ish miles (maybe just before) and peeled off my Voodoo cheetah print arm sleeves.

By the time I was starting the MP miles, it was just about time to turn around and head back to Boathouse Row. Those MP miles ticked on by, and I was feeling pretty comfortable. I took another gel around mile 13.5/14, and kept on going. One thing I know is that I need to get better at keeping the right pace; more specifically, feeling MP and staying there. I was often running faster than MP, and I had to keep checking myself. That often meant my pace was all over -- too fast at one point so I slow down, then I realize I was too slow so I speed up, etc. I ended up in the right range throughout, but I have to get better at that.

So with one last gel around mile 18.5ish, I finished out the last two MP miles and got ready to finish the run with mile 21 at an easy pace. As I got there, I was realizing how great D has trained me. How prepared I feel I am for this. I hit mile 20 faster than I ever had before -- in under 3 hours -- and I felt fine. I'm actually in awe of how good D is at training me. I'm still working on the mental part, but my body/legs feel prepared.

I didn't slow down completely to easy pace for mile 21, but I did back off MP. I knew I could have kept going. I felt good at the end of 21 miles, with half at MP, and that was amazing.

In that moment, on that day, after those miles, I felt prepared.

I don't feel like talking.

To anyone. Unless it's about stuff other than me. I don't like having to answer the question, "How are things?" It's not easy to answer that question, because when the real answer is something that prompts people to say, "Hang in there," and "Give it time," and "Maybe you just need to move on," it doesn't make me feel good. I look ok on the outside, and I can talk about my running or vent with my sister or my neighbor/friend, but on the inside, I'm crumbled. I can't talk about things. It's too hard.

So, instead of talking, I'll let pictures from my week tell my story. I flew to the Florida Keys to stay with my family for the week. It should have been a nice get away, and in some respects it was, but it didn't clear my head -- because things at home are no different than when I left.

An appropriate place to stay, while in the last few weeks of my training :)

Running the famous 7 Mile Bridge one morning

On my off day from running, I got a great upper body and core workout paddling for an hour

And had a really nice day out on the water, fishing

with my dad.

I haven't given up

on this blog.
on my running.

But things keep getting turned upside down and inside out. I've barely been able to keep the tears inside my eyes.

I found out some answers to all this craigslist stuff, but not ALL the answers I need. And what I found out may be even worse than not knowing at all. I now don't know who I can trust, who I can believe, what to think. Friendships have been broken.

But I haven't given up on the one thing in this crazy month that's been a constant.
My running.

March ended as my highest mileage month ever -- 242.4 miles. This week will be my highest week ever after Saturday's run -- 61+ miles.

And my legs still work.

My heart hurts, and my being feels heavy, and my mind is constantly swirling, but my running is still here, and it's working right now.

I'm not giving up.