Loss

I've been at a loss for words this week. I found out Monday that a friend of mine passed away of a heart attack Friday morning. He was an amazing runner, finishing 18 marathons since his first in 2005, and an amazing person.

I've had a difficult time getting words out. There's so much swirling in my head, but nothing coming out.

So for now, I'll just say goodbye to someone who made me smile, someone who made me feel good about myself, someone who encouraged me to continue to go after my goals, someone who gave great hugs -- along with a sense of security.

The road trip out to Ohio this week, to say goodbye in person, was tough -- but so worth it.

I miss you already, Joe.

"Voodoo" Joe Truini. 1971-2009. "Alive is a good start to the day. Take it from there."

Doc's orders

Work on your cycling.

I've iced, rested a day, Motrin'ed, and my heel is a thousand times better. But there's still a bump. My doc friend saw it last night and told me I need to rest it so the aggravation can subside. I didn't understand. It's sooooooooooo much better, I said! No, it might look better, it might not be sore to the touch anymore, but it's not better. There's still a bump. Then he went on to talk all about the ligaments and tendons and bone on bone calcification and whatnot and what I retained was he wants me to take the next 2 days off of running.

Crap.

I need to run. I want to run. I ran yesterday, an easy 5 miles in the new shoes, and things felt good.

No, he said, you need to rest it. Let it heal inside. Your cycling and swimming are your tri weaknesses, right?

yes.

Then swim and cycle the next two days and check in with me then. Don't run until Saturday.

Dammit!

This guy knows his stuff. D, a 2:30 marathoner, broke his foot one June and G (doc) opened him up, put a pin in his foot, and D was running just minutes off his marathon PR in November. These days, he's better than he used to be. If G says take some days off, I'll do what the doc says.

So my bike and I will be spending some quality time together the next few days.

Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, because I think I'm passing on the Philly Distance Run in order to do a new sprint triathlon on LBI the same day...

We broke up.

Me and my $500 custom orthotics, that is.

I've been wondering just how much I need these for a while. I've been wondering if I could get away with something over the counter, or just a good stability shoe. The heel problem prompted me today to switch things up.

So I went to the running store, had the boys analyze me as though I were a first time customer, and after they patiently had me try on about 6 different pairs of shoes, I settled on these:

Saucony ProGrid Guide2. Let's hope tomorrow's 5 miler works well with these!

Feet and salt water

Sometime last week or so, I switched up my shoes and started running in Asics Nimbus's. I've run in them in the past, but it's been a couple generations since they've worked for me, and I was excited with how comfy/cushy they were.

And then I started feeling an irritation on my left heel.

This happens with most shoes: I wear a hole in the heel cup with my boney heel. Usually, the shoe will end up with a hole, but my heel will be ok. Not this time. I distinctly remember, last Wednesday, feeling something like a grain of sand rubbing on my heel while I was on the running store group run. I was pissed. I knew it wasn't going to be good.

I had tried to drain the blister, but it wasn't like a real blister -- not much to drain, but a round, little bubble nonetheless. By Saturday, I was really hurting. In fact, my run was scheduled to be a fartlek run -- 6 total miles, with 2 warm up and 4 miles of 2 minutes hard, 2 minutes easy.

I did ok for the first few miles, but by mile 3.5 -4 I was almost crying as I ran. I stopped, readjusted my sock, tried again. Pain. I took off the pre-wrap that I wear under my Garmin and folded it up like a pad, put it on my heel, and tried again. More pain. Nothing worked. I ran the rest of the workout feeling like there were razors slicing my heel open. I fought back tears. I concentrated on keeping my form, but knew there was a definite favoring of that foot that I couldn't avoid.

Beware, gross foot picture coming...




See that white blister-looking thing? That's where the bone's sticking out. It's still not a drainable blister, it's a bump that's getting irritated with all my attempts to drain stuff out of it.

This morning I set out for my LR with all sorts of interventions: aquaphor, bandaid, cotton ball held over the spot with pre-wrap and held in place with athletic tape, duct tape over that, and duct tape over the hole in my shoe.

I got through the run, but fought the heel pain the whole way. My legs felt fantastic today, and I was super psyched about that, but the heel pain dampened my excitement.

Nothing was working. The pain was bad, the bump was big, it wasn't looking good.


It was time to hit the salt water. I started with a good old Epsom Salt and hot water soak. I like those, usually, but I could just tell this wasn't going to be good enough.

So I hit the beach, and spent time with my feet in this water instead:

I've iced, vitamin-I'ed, and I'm switching my day off from running from Wednesday to tomorrow.

If all that salt water in the ocean hasn't fixed this yet, I'll give it one more day. After that, I may be the wacko running down the street with one running shoe sporting a gigantic opening to let my heel hang out...

Not what I planned.

After a night fighting nerves, I woke up ready to tackle the swim in today's tri. My stomach, it seems, held onto those nerves and wasn't 100%, but I felt good about getting to the race early, getting a practice swim done, and covering the distance.

But when I got there, they were announcing that the swim portion was cancelled. Apparently, the heavy rains and thunderstorms that blew through last night brought high bacteria levels into the water or something. The water was tested and deemed unsafe for swimming. So we were doing a du.

Cripes. I have been swimming a lot more, feeling better about it, and now I won't get a chance to swim in the tri I've been training for.

As I sat in my transition spot, hearing that announcement over and over again, I wasn't angry -- if the water's not safe, it's not safe -- but I was disappointed. And maybe a little pissed. Can you tell? This is me, putting my running shoes on instead of my swim cap and goggles.

Ok, maybe I was feeling a lot pissed and disappointed. I felt bad for the girl two bikes down, and many others around me, who were there to do their first triathlon. At least I've done them before.

I've never done a du, however, and I really wasn't thrilled about doing one today. I haven't rested at all going into today, and I knew my legs were going to feel it by the second run. We were told the race would start, in our assigned swim waves, with a 1.9 mile run, followed by the planned 17 mile (two loops) bike, and then the 5k run. I put on my shoes, and walked over to find my friend Jen at her spot, and comiserate with her. She'd rather swim two legs than run at all, so I knew she wasn't thrilled with the switch, either.

We made our way over to the start, waited for all the waves ahead of us, and commented on how hot it was getting already. Soon my wave was called, and we wished each other luck as I headed to the start.

I lined up right up in the front, mainly because it was a big line and lots of us fit there, and no one really seemed to be caring where they started. Maybe because there was an elite wave earlier... Anyway, I set my watch, joked with the ladies around me, and then off we went. I started with a pretty good pace, but without my Garmin or a sense of where the mile marker was, I didn't know how fast. We ran a straight shot along the river to a turn-around, and back. By the time I hit mile one, at just over 7 mins, I knew I needed to slow down a bit or I'd be toast on the bike. Apparently, I slowed down more than I thought, though, and ended the run with a time of 15:02. The last .15 of the run was on a grassy, hole-y, puddly stretch leading into transition, and that slowed me a bit, too. Oh well.

As I made my way into transition (thank you, ladies on my rack who thought to put a flag balloon on the end!), my less-than-perfect tummy issues started to scare me a little, but I downed some water and gatorade, grabbed half a cliff bar, put on my helmet and pulled my bike off the rack. I was jogging/running my bike out of transition and had to make my way around all these women who were walking. Huh. It's a race, no? Some guy yelled, "Hey, are you guys racing or what?!" And that made me giggle as I ran by him.

I got on my bike, cliff bar hanging out of my mouth, and got a pretty good rhythm going fairly quickly. The bike course was a two-looper, and it was pretty flat. Some rolling stuff, and we did go up and over Falls Bridge, but there wasn't any major hill or incline to speak of. I ate my bar, I drank some water along the way, and felt energized as I made my way through the start/finish area on my way to loop 2. Same ride here as loop 1 -- got passed by some people, passed a bunch myself. I remembered reading something about standing up a little and lowering your gear as you come into the finish to stretch your legs and get ready for the run, so I did that. I also ate a gu in that last mile on the bike because I felt like I needed some fuel for the run. I dismounted just fine and made my way into T2. Bike time for the 17 miles was 57:03 -- just under 18mph, which was pretty good for me.

In T2, I realized that my legs were feeling pretty done by now. I racked my bike, swigged some water, grabbed my visor and made my way out. Again, the first .15-.2 mile were on that bumpy, puddly grassy area and as much as I wanted to get my legs moving, they just weren't. I hopped down the curb and onto the pavement, and nope, things didn't feel any better. This was going to be a long 3 miles. But it's only 3 miles! I kept telling myself. Um, yeah, another out-and-back along the river, and this one wasn't going to be easy.

Just before the turn-around (and, obviously again right after), there was a water stop, and they were handing out ice-cold rags to cool yourself off. Ahh! Icy coldness! So refreshing on my head, neck and chest! I wanted to sit right down and ice-rag my legs. Who would say anything? Seriously, my legs were toast -- the idea of stopping and just standing in their ice buckets crossed my mind, too.

But I didn't stop. I kept going. I was facing the finish line, now! I knew I was slow, but I didn't really look at my watch to know just how slow. I knew my friend Lori was up there at the finish waiting for me, and the draw of the finish was strong. I felt ok, really, except for the lack of speed in my legs. Too bad that's the part I really needed at that time. I high-fived Jen as she made her way out to the turn-around, and I knew I was close to the finish line.

Sure enough, there was Lori with her baby son, A, cheering for me just before the finish chute. I gave them a wave and surged into the chute. I was almost done! I could stop soon! WooHoo!

As I sprinted down to the finish, the cheers and cow bells and encouragement from the guy on the microphone and the crowd were amazing. This really is a cool event. I heard my name announced (a neat thing they do for as many of the women as they can) and crossed the finish with a smile on my face. A gentleman put a medal around my neck and took off my chip and I was done. 5k run, done in a terribly slow 26:40. It wasn't the tri I had planned on doing today, and I can honestly say I don't like the du, but I had fun anyway.

I found Lori, waited and cheered for the other finishers and our friend Jen, and then made my way to pack up my transition gear and get my bike. As we walked to our cars, we talked about other races we'll do, and how this one went, and I couldn't help thinking, this is a great community of people. I'm so glad I do this stuff.

So while I'm frustrated that I didn't get to do my swim today, I feel good about my first run and my bike. I enjoyed being a part of this event, and I know I'll do other tri's. I like the challenge.

Sitting in my car, I realized my shiny (and pink!) medal says Philadelphia Women's Triathlon.

So I guess, technically, that's the race I did today, but it definitely feels like I missed out. After going out for lunch with Lori, I got home and looked up the official results.

1:42:08 total time. 214 OA out of 988 finishers. 35/179 in my AG. Not great, but not terrible. And certainly not what I had planned on doing today.

The night before

I'm racing the Philadelphia Women's Triathlon tomorrow. I tend to hate the night before races.

I'm a runner. That's what I know. I fake the tri stuff. Yeah, I've been swimming a lot more, and I bike a bunch. But, I still ride with cages on my pedals instead of clipped-in shoes (see, I don't even know what clipped-in vs. clipless or whatever means!), and I still freak out about open water swimming in races. I'm not focused on tri's like I am my running. Yet.

But I feel like more of an athlete doing tri's than anything else. I have fun trying (ha!) them.

So I'm working all night to keep my nerves in check, and I'm reminding myself I have no expectations with my time. This is technically a sprint, but the swim (~.46 mi) and the bike (17ish mi) are longer than any other tri I've done.

I know I can do the swim, the bike, and the run. I know I can do it, but I want to do the swim well. All I want for tomorrow is to feel good about my swim -- I'm not concerned with my bike or run -- I didn't really taper or rest for this race, so no time expectations. I just don't want to get out of the water feeling like I struggled. I shouldn't -- I should do this just fine. Once I'm in T1, the fun starts.

And then I can enjoy the rest of the day.

A full weekend.

Through the craziness of last week, I somehow made my way into the holiday weekend. Growing up on a barrier island in NJ, where seasonal businesses reign and tourism is both welcomed and hated, this weekend is huge.

I made my way to the shore Thursday to work the door of the nightclub where I've been working for more than 15 years. I want to give this job up, but it's social, it's (pretty) easy money, and it's fun to watch the bar-goers on their way in (and stumbling out!). And, I've set it up that I'm only working there about 5 times all summer. It was packed, with a line of people out the door all night. I was taking the cover, and at times I had thousands of dollars in my hand. It was a good night for the owners.

Friday I started my day with one of my variations of a green monster:

And then spent some time working at my brother's store. I worked there for most of my teen/into adult years when my dad was the owner, and though I don't work there anymore, I try to pop in to help out on busier weekends. With some tough stuff happening with my brother, I wanted to do whatever I could. Turns out I was called upon to make 2 batches of my yummy rice pudding.

Saturday would bring even more difficult emotions into our life, when my sister's older Boston, Rocket, passed away unexpectedly. It is heartbreaking to have to try to explain death to 5 and almost-4 year old innocent little boys. It is amazing to see the love they are pouring on their other Boston, Tanqueray, and the understanding they have of Rocket's spirit. Rocket was a very special dog, and it has been a tough few days at the shore without him.

I was lucky enough to have some very understanding friends who met me at their door Saturday night after my nephew's birthday party with open arms, and let me cry out all my tears I'd been holding in for so long. We talked, we ate, we had some drinks, and we watched the fireworks over the bay.I needed some fresh air, some time on the beach, and some good things in my world, so I spent much of the day Sunday on the beach. I got an open water swim done in the ocean, and although it was only about .5 mile long, I felt like it was a really good workout since I don't get much OW swimming done. After that, it was wiffle ball time with this little guy:

Doesn't he look like a little triathlete?! Love it!

The ocean was refreshing and clear and calm this weekend, though there were some clear jellyfish in there, and my nephews spent more time jumping the waves, playing ball, bodysurfing and boogeyboarding than they ever have before.

It was so great, we all stayed until today and got another whole day on the beach yesterday. Perfect. After a full and emotional past week or so, it was fantastic to end the shore time with good things.

Oh, and I called my brother on my way home today just to remind him I love him. He sounded pretty good.

Where to begin?

I've been absent. I know it. I didn't mean to be absent, but I feel like I've had so much to say and yet the words have failed me. So, in order to escape the continued lack of posts, here's a synopsis, in no particular order:

*My running is going well. D's plan (which I'm getting 2 or 1 week at a time) has me running 6 days a week, with most runs being at an easy pace. I've been doing one long(ish) run and one speedwork day, although D says there will be another quality day added in in the next couple weeks. My mileage is hovering in the 25 (last week), 30-35 mpw range. I like it because I'm still able to fit biking and swimming into the mix.

*My brother is going through some pretty serious stuff right now, and I'm worried about him. Terribly. I wish I could do more than I am, but this is something he's got to do. I can support and help where I can, but it's all weighing heavily on me, and I want him to come out of this healthy, happy, and doing well.

*I also have a long-time friend who is dealing with some similar stuff as my brother. I worry about him, too, and wonder what the hell I can do to get him on a better path...

*My friendship with D has been getting stronger and stronger. We've been spending time together and I'm enjoying it. He's still dealing with a breakup, and I'm glad he feels comfortable to talk to me about things.

*I'm not working as much this summer as I have in the past. At first this kinda scared me, but now it's working out well. I have to watch my spending a bit over the next couple months, and I won't be able to take all the trips I wanted to, but for now it's ok.

*After some loooooooong weeks of rain, we've been blessed with absolutely gorgeous weather lately, and the forecast is for a bunch more days like this. Low humidity, temps in the low 80's, good breezes. I'm going to stop now, for fear of jinxing it....

*Apparently the Brooks shoes I've been in are somehow defective, so D had me swap them out at the store today for a new pair. I went with the Asics Nimbus 11's. I used to love the Nimbus but then they didn't work with my orthotics. Except for the god-awful hot pink coloring all over the shoes, I like 'em. Tomorrow will be my first run in them.

*I have my tri coming up next weekend -- the 12th. I'm starting to feel nervous about the swim. I know I can do it, it's just to what degree... I want to swim it well, and I get nervous about that. It's the longest swim in a race I've done, so really there's no pressure. Just complete it and get my ass on the bike. From there, I can handle things.


Ok, that's a lot of what's been consuming me lately. My head is still swirling.