1995

I didn't intend for this to happen, but I guess it's sort of fitting that for my 100th post on this blog, I take a minute to appreciate where I came from. This is something I wrote on January 19, 1995, for a grad school class. I found it just last weekend when I was cleaning out stuff from my parents' house...

My father is a runner. I have often tried to become a runner, but eventually I forego it for another form of exercise. Last spring, however, I stuck with my running and it helped me become a mentally and physically stronger person.

I had been going through a time in my life in which I felt very weak. I took up running (again) and decided, this time, to make it work for me. I charted my running time and did strength exercises with weights. I would work a full day and then spend an hour at the gym each night. I watched myself in the mirror and adjusted my stride to make it better for longer endurance. I told myself, no matter how much it hurt, to complete my time goal each time I ran.

Soon, my workouts became something I looked forward to each evening. I bought new running clothes that just slightly showed off my toned body. I wore jeans that I hadn't fit into for years. My friends noticed my weight loss and I noticed my fit body. I felt great because I knew I looked better than I had in a long time.

As I continued to run, even after leaving my job, I felt as though I could handle any situation I faced. My running had given me confidence. Confidence in my appearance and confidence in my mentality. I felt fit and strong enough to face my new endeavors in life and be successful in all that I attempted.

This was referring to the time period that I worked in NYC for Time Warner and lived in Hoboken. I used to take the bus out of the city, get off at the Y, work out, and then walk the 10+ blocks home. By then it was about 8:30-9pm -- I'd eat a cup of applesauce or something light like that and go to bed. I started this some time about halfway through my year of working for TW. Funny thing is, I didn't remember how meticulous I was about the running/workouts until I read this. It would be a couple years before I even ran my first race -- the Nike Run for the Parks 4 miler in Central Park -- and then another 8 or 9 years of off and on running before I took my running seriously, trained for and ran my next race, and started distance running.

Oops.

I just realized I haven't posted in over a week. I have been super busy, and quite frankly, I haven't felt like anything to write about would be very interesting.

But when I started this blog, I did so with the intention of chronicling my life - boring or not. So, here's what's interesting in my too-busy, not-that-exciting life recently:

A coworker pulled me aside the other day, put his arm around my shoulders, and told me I'm a good-looking woman. :D Love him.

I dipped my toes in the ocean this past weekend. It was COLD, but I was barefoot, in my bathing suit, on the beach -- so how bad could it be?!

The middle school girls softball team that I coach lost in the playoffs today. That's too bad. Ok, really, I'm ecstatic. This season has gone on long enough. Now I can finally get some free time in my afternoons!

I went to the Phillies game with my running store co-workers on Monday. Dollar dog nite. We tailgated, had a blast, and watched one of our guys down 12 hot dogs before the 9th inning started. Whoa.

My running has been pretty good. I've got to get my body adjusted to the heat, but otherwise, the paces have been good, things have been feeling good, and now I just need to decide on my next goal race.

So now that softball's done, I'll have a little more time to think of fun, witty things to write about. Promise!

I'm so tired.

I'm not sure why, except this was a jam-packed weekend.

I wanted to call out sick today, but couldn't for a couple reasons. I could barely keep my eyes open at work, and in fact, I fell asleep at my desk while grading papers at lunch.

I didn't plan on creating an entire blog post about how heavy my eyes are, and how many times I yawned today, and how as nice out as it was today, I was so glad this was a planned rest day so I could just sit on my deck and read a magazine and doze.

However, I feel like I created this blog to chronicle my life as it is powered, and the reality is, it's not always that full of power. Shocker, I know. As much as I like to move, as much as I can't really sit still very long, and as much as I love to run, there's a part of me that needs to just do nothing sometimes.

It sucks when that happens on a beautiful, sunny, cool day like today -- a day where as much as I want to go for a run or get out there on my bike, my body just can't.

That's when the lounge chair on my deck becomes my favorite place to be. And so it was this afternoon.

And now, I'm going to bed. I hope I'm not so overtired that I can't sleep... tomorrow's an early morning run before work.

I didn't sink

And it didn't suck. But even though I did 2000 yards in the pool tonight, I really never feel like I get any better or more comfortable as a swimmer.

I know I would need to swim more than once a week to get better. During the school year, though, all I want to do when I'm out of work is get outside in the fresh air (even when it's cold and grey) and run.

In the summer, I get more swimming done. Ok, generally twice a week, mostly. That's not much more. BUT, I think it will stay that way until I get the desire or urge or need to do more than the sprint triathlons. I'm constantly amazed by the swimming that Maggs and Charisa and other serious triathletes do. I toyed with the idea of an olympic distance. Then I realized I'd have to swim about a mile in open water. Um, go back to the first paragraph. I'm not ready to tackle that distance.


Yet.

From my mom...

...and dad. Mom gave it to me today at our Mother's Day lunch!

It's (un)official.

I'm a little off.

I kept meaning to write a more detailed post about the slog-fest that was the Glass City marathon DNF of last Sunday, but I just couldn't figure out what to say. My pre-race nerves were on high-alert, my nervousness about the heat came to fruition, and although stepping off the course at 15.5 was like a weight off my shoulders, I felt all week like I had unfinished business.

I looked into registering for the Delaware Marathon in 2 weeks. Closed out.
I even considered registering for NJ (this weekend), but it was also closed out.

I needed to finish my spring marathon. My training had no closure.

I have too many commitments next weekend. I would be cheering on my friends at the Broad Street Run in Philly today. I didn't want to wait for weeks from now, because I'd have to rework more training...

So Friday I drove to the shore. I didn't tell anyone what I was thinking. I didn't say anything more than I planned on waking up in the morning and running until I stop, but my dad got the hint.

Years ago, he had a score to settle with the marathon distance and ran his own on Long Beach Island. Yesterday morning, I did the same.

Woke up at 5, ate my normal pre-race breakfast, and felt calm. No pre-race jitters, no nervousness. I didn't know how my legs would handle 26.2 miles just 6 days after the beating they took at Glass City (they were sore until Wednesday!), but I had to do this. While I wanted to feel good about my time, I didn't put any expectations on myself. I knew my legs weren't in top shape, so I just hoped to cover the distance and feel good about the run.

I left a note for my parents and slipped out of the house for a 7am sharp start. Just like a real race. I headed south for the first half of my first 12 mile loop. At the turn-around, I decided to go one more mile, so by the time I got back past the house, I'd have run 14 already. I passed my sister-in-law and two neices walking their dog at the turn around and yelled, I can't stop! I might be running a marathon right now! My SIL watched me, took a second to think about what I just said, and started yelling Go Lora Go! The little girls joined in. My only true crowd support the whole day! Sweet! My pace was good, I was feeling good. I kept going.

I figured my dad would try to find me at some point in the middle of that first loop, but he apparently couldn't find me. I felt bad that I didn't see him -- I watched his truck cross the street about 6 blocks ahead of me at one point, but we never crossed paths. I felt bad, but I was feeling pretty good, so I didn't dwell on it. I would end up running most of this race without an ipod, or water/aid stations, or any real crowd support.

When I got back to my parents' block, I uncapped my water, ran into the house, filled my bottle, and yelled to my mom that I was going to keep going. I ran back out the door, completing a less-than-60-second water station stop.

I threw an extra mile loop north in, and then headed back south to do almost the same loop as the first -- but a bit shorter. My dad finally found me around mile 15.5, and asked how I was feeling. I told him I was tired, but ok. I was on a good pace -- probably looking at just two minutes or so slower than my PR.

Less than a mile later, my legs would remind me they were still worked from last weekend. By mile 17, they were hurting. I kept telling myself, just slow down a little. No stopping until you hit the store and refill the water for the last half of the loop home. (My family's store would be right there after I turned around at about mile 21 to head home to the finish line.)

Around mile 19 I got a weird pain in my lower left side. Not a cramp, really, but it doubled me over. I had to stop short and walk for about 30 seconds to catch my breath. After that, I was ok and started running again. I got to the turn-around, stopped for another super-quick water pit stop at the store, and was excited to think I only had 5 miles to go to the finish. I've run these 5 miles home a bazillion times. No big deal.

Up to this point, I had been taking my strips and taking my gels and all that seemed to be working. I didn't feel woozy at all (for a change!) and other than my legs feeling completely shot, I was doing well. This is what I needed. This is what I need to remember for the future. I knew if I had stronger legs on this day, I'd be running a strong race.

When I made the turn up to the ocean road for the last 2.2 miles to home, I was psyched. I smiled at a little kid on a bike. I smelled the ocean. I giggled at the fact that just now it was starting to rain. Whatever -- I was almost done a marathon. Let it rain.

I had to stop to walk out the tightness in my legs for a block or so twice in those last 5 miles, and overall my pace in those last 10 miles slowed considerably. Even so, I knew I would be finishing in a time that was faster than my slowest marathon, so I was happy. It really wasn't about the time. It was about finishing unfinished business.

At mile 25.5 I started to feel overcome with emotion. Other than Marine Corps, which I didn't race, it's been so long since I've run a long distance race or a marathon where I didn't feel sick, or woozy, or defeated.

At mile 26, a block before my parents' house, my dad pulled up next to me in his truck. How are you? he asked. I've got .3 to go, I told him. And smiled. I handed him my water bottle and I sprinted past the house to the finish line a few blocks north. When I crossed the 26.2 mile mark, I stopped, bent over and touched the street, and stopped my watch. 4:18:04. Smack in the middle of my 4 other marathon times.

Years ago when my dad did his LBI marathon, a friend had a plaque made for him. He had given me the plaque after one of my frustrating marathons, and said maybe someday I'd just get up and run my own marathon.

I didn't run my LBI marathon as fast as my dad did, but I ran it.

It's unofficial, but it's worth it. It's not fast, but it's worth it.

I did it by myself, and it was worth it.